Once there were two penguins called Arthur and Martha standing on a cold ice shelf. Arthur had known and loved Martha since they were both eggs, but had trouble admitting his feelings.
“Oi Martha,” said Arthur, mustering his confidence “why don’t you come and waddle over here and keep a penguin warm”
“As if,” said Martha “I’m not screwing around with some tuxedoed prick who’s going to leave me as soon as I’ve laid an egg”
“Fuck, don’t be such a frigid bitch.” Retorted Arthur, momentarily forgetting that in the arctic everything is frigid.
“Fuck you! I’m not bringing an egg into this world so I can watch it, raise it and catch fish for it”
Arthur, getting angry now, waddled closer to Martha.
“Who said anything about laying eggs? I just asked for you to come closer. It’s always got to be drama with you!”
Martha was just about to reply, when suddenly both penguins felt a rumbling below their feet. Without anymore warning a killer whale launched itself out of the water, cracking the ice in two and swallowing both Arthur and Martha whole.
The end.
