My Holiday Project
With a month left before university starts again, it has finally happened. I’m bored. With nothing but fruitless job interviews and soulless net surfing to occupy my time, I’ve decided that the only way to combat my current state of apathy is to take on a new project. And what better project is there than myself? With much consideration, I’ve decided to Dukan.
For those of you who are unaware of the Dukan diet, basically, what you do is take out aaaaaall the foods that you like and ignore your body’s protests as it gives you hunger pains, fatigue and halitosis. Eventually your system is beaten into submission and will drop weight with the depressed acquiescence of a broken horse.
Sounds fun, right?
Anyway, according to my Mr Dukan (who looks a bit cadaverous, I think) my TRUE weight isn’t that far away. True weight? Who was I to know that my current weight is false? I’ve been literally living a lie, it appears.
I’m on day one at the moment, which has been filled with such exciting protein-filled moments like ‘hard boiled egg’, ‘lump of meat’ and ‘flavourless yoghurt’. This is all very draconian, but the truth is that I have a serious sugar habit I need to kick. Yes, I’m jonesing for a hot cross bun and perhaps I’d even sell one of my cavity-riddled teeth for a Coke-a-cola, but therein lies the problem. I don’t like being addicted to anything.
I will try and keep you updated, but I’m sure the sugar withdrawals will eventually rob me of my ability to write. Hopefully I’ll see you on the other side.
